Bucket of Brains

I was finally starting to convince my girlfriend that I would probably not die while riding my new motorcycle and that the new helmet I bought was particularly awesome, when this jackass goes and creates an “I told you so” moment right before our eyes.

We were sitting in my beat up Chevy Nova (the source of one of my arguments, “Motorcycle=safer than the Nova”) at a red light on Halsted in Lincoln Park. In one of those slow-motion moments that really only lasts a couple of seconds, I spotted the headlight of a motorcycle coming up hard behind me, then start to pass me on the right. I looked up at the traffic light because I was worried that I was sitting still at a green light like a drooling idiot, but I was not… for a moment, anyway. The light went green just as the guy on the sportbike entered the intersection at 25-30mph, just in time to catch the SUV which was still making it’s way across the street.

He locked his brakes on the wet pavement and wedged his front tire into the car’s wheel well. Glass, plastic and fiberglass exploded everywhere.

I sat in my car holding off the honking cabs behind me while he got up and collected his bike. As he did, he yelled across to a dapper guy on a motorcycle, “you saw that right?”

This is where I got super pissed. That accident was SO his fault. I mean, perhaps the woman driving the SUV shouldn’t have entered the intersection on yellow, but this guy definitely shouldn’t have been charging toward a red light, while passing on the right, on a wet road while wearing shorts (nor should he ever have been wearing shorts… ever). I mean, it is true that on motorcycles you really have to watch out for “the other guy,” but you also have to not be a complete fucking moron.

I got out of my car and handed both drivers my phone number should they need a witness. Initially, I only wrote it down to give to the woman and was planning on shaking the cyclist violently, screaming “THANKS A LOT ASSHOLE, YOU’VE RUINED ALL MY HARD WORK” but I thought better of it. His brain might already be damaged, not by the fall as he was wearing a “brain bucket” as the other rider called it, but because he obviously has something wrong with him to make a move that dumb.


1 Comment so far

  1. morgen (unregistered) on June 24th, 2004 @ 12:58 pm

    In LA, it’s legal for motorcycles to drive between the lanes of traffic. They’re supposed to go only 5mph over the speed of traffiic, but a lot of them just gun it. I’ve never seen anyone actually eat it, but about once a week I saw the aftermath on the side of the road. That’s not legal here though.

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