I played as an alternate for my sister’s softball team last night and afterwards we went to Durkin’s, the pub they are sponsored by. Not normally a place I would go to, but we had $35 in free drinks, and only 6 people. How could that be wrong? Apparently, Thursday night is also “Post Office Night”. You are accosted when you get in the door and forced to put a sticky label on you that has a number prominently displayed on it. If you remove your number, they will hunt you down and give you a new number. Other people can look at your number, go to the “post office” (a table with a bunch of hooks behind it for hanging little numbered envelopes) and leave you a note, which is then put in your envelope and hung on a hook for all to see. You can then retrieve your envelope and read the creepy-ass note that some pervert wrote you.
I realize that this is supposed to be fun, but seriously. I thought 13-year-olds weren’t allowed in bars.
Sure enough, within 5 minutes of sitting down, my sister gets a note. Now, keep in mind that our entire table looks like a bunch of dorks in our softball jerseys & sweatshorts. To add more hilarity (because we take organized sports so seriously), my sister and I are wearing 70’s striped tube socks pulled up to our knees and pigtails. After much junior high giggling, she goes and gets her note. She opens it up, her eyes get huge, and she almost pees her pants….

To: 76
From: 42
Truth or Dare?

We are crying and trying to figure out what to do from here. Being smart-asses, we write back “Rock, Paper, Scissors?” and decide we are the most hilarious people we know. 42 never responds. We find out much later in the night that he works at the “post office”, and truth or dare is a game they play. You draw things out of a pitcher that have little dares on them and if you do them, you get to do 50 body shots off Fabio. Or something like that.
Regardless, the idea is just creepy, and can be easily exploited by dirty perverts. My suggestion, if you ever find yourself stuck somewhere on “post office” night, is to put your number on the sole of your shoe.