Welcome to the CTA. Sit back. Relax. And enjoy the statistics:
Total number of train delay announcements by operator at each stop: 10
Total number of train delay announcements by operator between each stop: 8
Total number of train delay announcements by operator in person, thereby freaking out the majority of the passengers: 2
Total number of train delay announcements by CTA: 5
Total number of train delay announcements giving conflicting information that just confused the fuck out of us: 482
Total number of people who left the train upon hearing the initial announcement: 10
Total number of people who picked up their cellphones and immediately called anyone who remotely gave a shit as to their whereabouts: 1,880,369
Total number of times the operator got totally confused and told us we had to get off at Belmont — no, we could take the train to Armitage — no, we had to get off at Belmont — no, we could take the train all the way to Roosevelt because we were going underground at Fullerton — no, we had to get off at Belmont: approximately 7
Total number of times I was surprised that people handled the situation with good humor and actually shared a laugh over the entire thing: 2
Thanks to the dumbass crane operator who mistook the Chicago/Franklin CTA stop for a battering ram this morning, I was able to finish the WHOLE New York Times Sunday crossword! Thanks, dumbass!