Illegal Emu Bordello Shut Down

Why do people seem to have the desire to own large, exotic animals that have no business being domesticated? A 43 year old man is charged with keeping 4 emus, native Australian birds that are about as nice as a camel or a vulture. For serious, you don’t mess with these birds. They are big and mean and cranky all the time. My sister and I went to a wild animal park in Australia and had the crap scared out of us by them. They are easily 6 – 7 feet tall and would like nothing better to peck your head off and then laugh with their other, evil emu friends.

But this jerky, he wanted 4 of them and wanted to “shoot the birds and let coyotes eat the carcasses”.

?!?!?!?!???!?!?!!?? WTF!?

It turns out he “was cited for abandoning the large, flightless birds near the Skokie Lagoons after police warned him that he could not keep them in a yard behind his apartment”.

OK, so the police knew that he had them, gave him A WARNING that ginormously large, foreign birds could not be kept in his back yard, and then were surprised when they all of a sudden “showed up” in the Skokie Lagoons? What did they think he was going to do?

Good news is, they are now recovering at a farm in McHenry that obviously has extensive knowledge of emus. Owner Linda Schmidt said of one bird with missing back feathers “It looked just like a turkey before you cook it”.


The resemblance is striking.

Bad news is, unless the emus find a permanent home and owner, they are “probably headed toward slaughter”. Now that is just awesome. These birds are owned by some psycho that shot at them, kept them cooped up, wished to feed them to coyotes, ditched them in a lagoon in the snow, and now they have been rescued only to be slaughtered. That is SO best for the emus.

Here’s a novel idea… Give them to a zoo. Or ship them back to Australia. Seriously people.

2 Comments so far

  1. Fuzzy (unregistered) on December 7th, 2004 @ 8:59 pm

    I was hiking in southern Illinois a few years ago and ran across an emu on the trail. My hosts told me that when the bottom fell out of the speculative emu-farming market, some of the farmers had just let the birds go and that there were feral emus all over the place.

  2. Shawn (unregistered) on December 8th, 2004 @ 1:06 pm

    Looks like there may be a sudden influx of emu burgers to the McHenry County area in a few weeks.

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