I went to the Cub Foods this afternoon and anyone who has parked in that parking lot knows that you have to use a shoe horn to park your car in any of those spaces.

After running to get a quick roll of paper towels, I found a little yellow slip of paper on my tiny Volkswagen convertible. The little yellow slip said the following:

“This is not a ticket, but if it were within my power, you would receive tow. Because of your BUll Headed, inconsiderate, feeble attempt at parking, you have taken enough room for a 20 mule team, 2 elephants, 1 goat and a safari of pygmies from the African interior. The reason for giving you this is sdo that in the future you may think of someone else, other than yourself. . .”

It goes on, but you get my drift. I suppose I am lucky that said asshole who left the “ticket” on my windsheild did not also scratch my car. However, I took a look at both cars beside me (one of them recently placed after I arrived and parked my car) and noticed that they both had ample room.

I also took a look at my car to see if I had taken up more than my share of parking space. Apparently, the person who I assumed left me the “ticket” is not only stupid and a coward, but is also blind. I was within the yellow lines and oddly enough the “ticket” person was in my parking space.

So, if you left me this little parking violation notice – please find it in your heart to take your foot and shove it up your A$$.