Piss Off

This past weekend I made the mistake of setting foot in Estelle’s on a Friday. I don’t know what I was thinking. I know it’s going to be invaded by suburbanites, yuppies and frat boys alike, or maybe they’re all the same person.1

As soon as I arrived in Estelle’s, I made a beeline for the men’s room. After waiting ten minutes in line, which is all one can expect, I find myself next. Oh, the joy and anticipation of relief. Then this guy, some ex-frat yuppie no doubt, dressed in perfectly pressed jeans and a pink collared polo shirt (I could be embellishing the pink), approaches me and asks if his girlfriend could cut in ahead of me. (Did I mention I was waiting for the men’s room? Okay. Just checking.) He says, “She’s really gotta go,” as if no one else in line had to.

My obvious answer? “So do I.”

“But she’s really nice,” he insists. Oh. Well then. Here, have my wallet, too.

The door opens, and I dive inside with my final comment, “I’m sure she is.” They have the nerve to give me a dirty look. Yeah, I’m the one being the jerk here. Your girlfriend had every right to cut in front of a huge line to use the WRONG RESTROOM.

Wait, it gets better. I’m in there, doing what people do in a bathroom, and she enters. She then stands and glares at me while I’m going.

“Do you mind? I’m peeing here.”

“So am I,” she says. Brilliant retort. Touche.

Keep in mind, I’ve seen a guy get kicked out of Estelle’s for using the women’s restroom. I’ve also been told I’d be taking my life in my hands if I used the women’s room at Goldstar Bar. That said, I’ve had it with women who think they can get whatever they want because they have a pretty face. I’m especially angry with the men who encourage that behavior. Lady (and I really want to call you something else), stand in line like the rest of us. And use the right bathroom.

This is what I get for breaking the cardinal rule: never, never EVER go to Estelle’s on a weekend.

1I really don’t want to hear your theories about gentrification or the trend Wicker Park is taking. If you’re going to comment on that, you’ve missed the whole point of this post, which is specific to Estelle’s, Friday night, two huge idiots, and the event that unfolded.

12 Comments so far

  1. Brianne (unregistered) on August 9th, 2005 @ 2:18 pm

    I think you should take some time off of the bars, Tom. It seems like you are getting yourself into too much trouble.

  2. r (unregistered) on August 9th, 2005 @ 2:23 pm

    Tom – I know what you’re saying. It’s so sad to see one of our favorite bars turn like this. I work in a bar that has changed drastically in recent years. In fact, it changes drastically from Thursday night to Friday night every weekend as Lakeview and Lincoln Park stretch further and further north. But I have to ask myself if it’s really changing or if that is my perception of it. I know I’m not alone in experiencing this change, but I also think yuppie hating or suburbanite hating is rather common and somewhat en vogue. And while I try not to generalize, I find myself hating the frat boys at the bar just because of their baseball hats and college t-shirts. So, I have to ask, would it have made a difference if they were the funky artsy people of yesteryear hanging out in Wicker Park? Do you think similar obnoxious behavior wouldn’t have happened? Was it the pink polo shirt or their entitlement disorder that really bothered you? I know that back when The Pontiac was still a garage, I was acting like an idiot at Danny’s and probably pissed a few people off myself. That’s not to say, I don’t get what you’re saying because I see it too. But I also try to realize that it might be more of a lack of life experience and not the pink polo shirt and prada handbag that makes them idiots (although it doesn’t help their case either). And let’s face it, there are plenty of people out there who lack life experience who dress better than they do and occasionally act like complete idiots. They just didn

  3. tom (unregistered) on August 9th, 2005 @ 2:41 pm

    brianne: i don’t see how *I* got into trouble there. in fact, after that, i was so pissed (pardon) i just went home (without saying another word to the guy on my way out of the bathroom) cus i knew i wasn’t gonna have any more fun that night. if you somehow think *I* was in the wrong there, then i see you as part of the problem.

    r: in short, no, it would’ve made no difference *who* they were or *what* they were wearing. it wasn’t the polo shirt i was angry at, it was the event and their behavior. i can generally ignore people’s dress, but there’s a certain type of people who change the whole atmosphere of a bar with their *behavior*.

  4. steven (unregistered) on August 9th, 2005 @ 3:04 pm

    I don’t want to speak for Tom, but I think if the guy had approached him in a kind and decent manner, the girl would’ve been able to cut in. If the guy is a jerk? No way. And judging from the behavior of the girl as she stared Tom down while he did his thing, I have a feeling they weren’t the nicest people around. And at that point she was holding up the line even longer…she didn’t care. Though they might’ve been drunk too. That never helps.

    Tom, I’m surprised you didn’t piss on her shoes. Now THAT would be a great Metroblog story.

  5. tom (unregistered) on August 9th, 2005 @ 3:27 pm

    i’m curious. just what IS the decent way to ask to skip in front of a long line of guys who’ve already been waiting a while and really have to go? cus to me, the question itself is rude and the implication that i’m gonna let her just because she’s pretty is insulting, no matter how you say or word it.

  6. tom (unregistered) on August 9th, 2005 @ 3:28 pm

    you’re right, steven, i shoulda pissed on her shoes. then punched her boyfriend on the way out. now THAT woulda been the me of last month, brianne.

  7. tankboy (unregistered) on August 9th, 2005 @ 4:11 pm

    I told you to go home after innjoy. Or at least go to the new “weekend” Estelles we can stomach (whose name I shall not utter here in hopes of keeping line jumping female pee voyeurs away.)

  8. tom (unregistered) on August 9th, 2005 @ 4:48 pm

    i did go home – i just took a rather convoluted detour through estelle’s. cus really i just stayed long enough to go on exhibit in the men’s room then leave in disgust.

  9. Brianne (unregistered) on August 11th, 2005 @ 10:25 am

    Tom- I was totally joking with that comment. I thought my sarcasm showed through, however this isn’t the first time my not-so-obvious sarcasm has gotten me in trouble. What happened to you was totally ridiculous. People can be selfish assholes especially in Wicker Park on the weekends.

  10. tom (unregistered) on August 11th, 2005 @ 1:58 pm

    i’ll forgive you this time, brianne. just don’t cut in front of me in line.

  11. Moon (unregistered) on August 12th, 2005 @ 12:42 pm

    I would have said, “Sorry, but I really have to go, too, and I’ll be done in 30 seconds.”

    /You KNOW this woman would take 5 minutes. That’s why there’s such a long line in the women’s room.

  12. Fuzzy (unregistered) on August 12th, 2005 @ 2:22 pm

    > i’m curious. just what IS the decent way to ask to skip in

    > front of a long line of guys who’ve already been waiting

    > a while and really have to go?

    I think the only polite way is to be all cross-legged and have a pitiful look on your face and say, “I’m an idiot, but I’m about to pee my pants. Pleeeeeeze let me butt in line.”

    It always worked for me. When I was 5.

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