(So you don’t have to worry, everyone is just fine now.)

Sure, you go to Best Buy and everything is plastered with little stickers that let you know that this one has “7 megapixels” and that one has “1-bit DAC”, but I would have never thought that medical equipment was sold the same way. But now I know that the IVAC Signature Edition has “Adjustable Pressure!” (OK, it doesn’t actually have an exclamation point, but I think stars and arrows imply an exclamation point.)

And when they’ve decided you’re not in danger anymore and so they want to free up your ER bed, but you’re not well, so they’re not going to let you go, but they’re waiting for the observation ward to call and say that a room is available, so they just wheel you out and park you in a hall. Straight up. And a nurse will apologize saying, “they’re not ready yet — you know, it’s the same as everywhere.” And it is the same as everywhere — they’re good, smart, well-intentioned people, but they’re still just people and things always take a little longer than you’d think.