Twice in two days I’ve been asked by strangers if I thought they were parked far enough away from a fire hydrant. Both times I was rather defensive and refused to confirm their safety — don’t blame me if you get a ticket. On reflection, I’ve decided that it’s not really that they want a second opinion or be able to shift the blame, they just want reassurance. Otherwise it’s going to nag at them for the 2 hours they’re in that doctor’s office, or what have you. So in the interest of promoting general calm in Chicago, my new philosophy is to tell you that, yes, you’re fine. You’re waaaaay away from that hydrant. Go have fun.

Or, just carry a tape measure and make sure you’re 15′ away from that hydrant.