Some important new laws went into effect on January 1, but none will have as much impact on you, the Chicagoan, than the one which promises to “implement fines and other punishment for copycat musical groups who try to misrepresent themselves as the original artists.”

It’s about time the city tackles this serious problem. How many times have you gone to see what you thought was the actual Led Zeppelin or U2, only to find some flabby suburban dudes living out a dream? Okay, don’t answer that.

Second most important law: “Allow people to recork open wine bottles and take them home from restaurants as long as they’re wrapped in tamperproof bags.” The City That Works, people. The City. That. Works.