Terrible Space Insects Will Destroy Us All, Taste Like Almonds

This spring, Chicago is due for it’s 17-year cycle of terrifying, disproportionate insects from outer space.In an interview with Joliet’s Herald News, James Schuster, U of I Extension horticulture educator said:

Native Americans utilized them in their diet, and in 1990 several college students were filmed eating them. They reported they tasted like almonds.

So do not be afraid. As the millions of creatures descend from the blackened skies, overturning cars and devouring livestock in short and terrible moments, open your mouth and see if you can catch one of “nature’s almonds”.

6 Comments so far

  1. Dave! (unregistered) on March 7th, 2007 @ 10:51 am

    I *love* the 17 year cicadas… I love finding their shells… I love the sounds of their swarms. It makes me think of summers as a kid in the midwest.

  2. Nate (unregistered) on March 7th, 2007 @ 10:59 am

    That’s crazy – I didn’t know that DC and Chicago were on different cycles. DC had them a few years ago, and I remember them from third or fourth grade, too. Lots of fun to put the little husks on other kids’ clothes when they weren’t looking.

    But ew, crunchy bugs underfoot.

  3. Dan Telfer (unregistered) on March 7th, 2007 @ 11:00 am

    I kind of thought they were cool 17 years ago. I like their little hollowed out skins with the creepy claws and stuff. But I’ve since become and adult and acquired a lovely wife with a phobia of them! So, I’m pretty sure they’re going to ruin my year this time.

  4. Jack (unregistered) on March 8th, 2007 @ 3:29 pm

    I think regular almonds are nature’s almonds.

  5. Dan Telfer (unregistered) on March 8th, 2007 @ 3:35 pm

    No, those are just called almonds.

    You know, like how cotton candy is “nature’s clouds”.

  6. tricia (unregistered) on March 9th, 2007 @ 6:37 pm

    I hope they are not due in Mississippi this year. They actually do sound like the metallic whirring of a spaceship (Forbidden Planet, not Star Trek spaceship)and after a while it really gets on my last nerve. And then for months you have those shells stuck on everything, which is creepy. But if it is this summer, it will be too hot to sit outside anyway, so I’ll get over it. Thanks, Chicago Metroblog for letting me comment!!

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