Your Movie Sucks

Your Movie SucksIt’s somehow comforting to me to remember in the middle of our current (deserved) out-pouring of “Roger Ebert is a Chicago treasure” that he’s not some kindly old lover of movies — the man is a critic who can dish it out as he sees fit. Your Movie Sucks is a sequel of sorts to Roger Ebert‘s earlier I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie — both collections of his reviews of movies he enjoyed the least.

The earlier book covered a few decades of reviews and so it had the stringent requirement of one star or less; the new book covers just the 21st century and so, I assume to pad out the book a bit, includes 1.5 star movies. It does mean that some of the reviews are less vitriolic and more Ebert basically saying, “eh.”

But when Ebert is on a tear, ripping into a terrible movie, it’s quite a sight to behold. The book opens with an extended introduction detailing a few reviews that resulted in public exchanges with the director or stars, like Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (from which review comes the title of the book) and Vincent Gallo’s Brown Bunny.

It should be noted that these books are, like so much these days, effectively free online — just go to the Advanced Search on Ebert’s site, set the “Star rating To” field to one or one-and-a-half stars, and click Submit. But it’s harder to take your computer into the bathroom, which just might be the natural home for this sort of book. Of course, you might also want to use it as a sort of affirmational — read one of these reviews right before you leave the house and there will be a certain spring in your step. No matter what you do or don’t do during the day, at least you didn’t make a terrible movie.

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