I was drunkenly enjoying my char-cheddar dog at the Wiener’s Circle, after a hard night of retro-fitted dancing at Neo, when suddnely there was money flying everywhere.

“You are so getting sued! You are so getting sued!”

Now I’ve heard some of the most vile name-calling of my life from both customer & staff at the Wiener’s Circle, so I can’t imagine what this guy in a suit with his cute little girlfriend said to the women behind the counter to warrant them hurling their crammed-full tip jar (actually a stainless steel condiment container) at him.

I laughed at this whiny brat and asked my pal Edgar, “what the hell is all over his face? Oh, it’s catsup.”

“No, it’s blood.”

“No, it’s catsup.”

“No. It’s blood.”

Just then the guy walked outside to the picnic tables where we sat and started squirting blood all over the place in a very Monty Python fashion, his pale blue shirt like a sponge full of shiny maroon blood.

The Wiener’s Circle… number one in Chicago!