The Guinness Oysterless Festival

I went to the Guinness Oyster festival last night, and was totally shocked to find that there was not a single oyster being served at the event. A look at the main event site on this morning finds that it was hastily renamed the Guinness Festival, and the word “Oyster” was Photoshopped out of the logo. Which means one of two things happened: either the oyster were deadly and the city wouldn’t allow them to be served, or the event planners didn’t get the correct permits. Regardless, it really defeated the purpose of going.
Even worse, they weren’t just serving good Irish brews like Smithwick’s & Harp….they were also serving Smirnoff Ice. This led to the enormously exciting contest of “Spot a Girl with a Guinness”. It took a good 5 minutes for anyone to win this game. And three girls sharing one Guinness DOES NOT COUNT. Babies.
The worst part of the night was psycho parking guy. Surely you have encountereed one of these if you have ever driven to an event with limited parking. I was driving south on Halsted just past Eastman and saw a van pulling out of a spot on the other side of the street. So I quick flipped a U-turn and hauled back, waiting for him to pull out. As I started backing in to the spot, I noticed a guy standing on the sidewalk directing me into this spot which could have EASILY fit a car and half. I was like, yeah, dude, I got it. Don’t worry about it. When we got out of the car, he demanded money for finding me such a great spot. A great spot that I had found all on my own. Seriously?! It was such a scam.
And all I wanted was some oysters. Dammit.

6 Comments so far

  1. Tom (unregistered) on September 12th, 2004 @ 8:49 am

    Please tell me you didn’t pay the guy.

  2. lauren (unregistered) on September 13th, 2004 @ 2:46 am

    Oh, god no. I had at least 3 grains of common sense last time I checked.

  3. Alexis (unregistered) on September 11th, 2005 @ 9:21 pm


    I worked at the beer tent near the stage and there were fresh oysters just west of the beer tent! They weren’t well advertised but I heard they were awesome! Wish I had the oppertunity to taste them, however I was busy getting your beer!! Hope to see you next year!

  4. Alana (unregistered) on September 12th, 2005 @ 1:33 pm

    I would assume that a their shipment of oysters was to come from the Gulf Coast. Perhaps they just couldn’t get them here due to the situtation down there.

  5. Alana (unregistered) on September 12th, 2005 @ 1:35 pm

    More info:
    “Oysters Louisiana’s oyster production is the highest in the U.S.”

  6. Fuzzy (unregistered) on September 13th, 2005 @ 3:44 pm

    Please note that Lauren’s post was from 2004.

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