Worst. Haircut. Ever.

For the past month David Crosby’s “Almost Cut My Hair” has been going through my head as I’ve been wondering what to do with the tangled mess on my head.

Well, yesterday, I finally succumbed to the need and headed over to Big Hair in Roscoe Village. What resulted has to be the worst haircut in the history of this planet.

Why did I go there? I heard that you can get a haircut there for twelve dollars. Well, that much is true, but I also forgot that you usually get what you pay for. I’m not very particular about my hair, so I don’t really like to pay ridiculous salon prices for someone to take scissors to my head. However, this is ridiculous in itself.

How difficult is it to cut hair? One side is shorter than the other. There are huge uncut tufts of hair sticking out from the trimmed line. It looks worse than beforehand; I look like I really did get into a fight with a lawnmower. Seriously, here, I’m trying to figure out how to do emergency damage control without paying more money for a REAL haircut before showing my face outside again. Someone suggested shaving it all off and starting clean.

All I can do is exact my revenge by telling you all: DON’T GO TO BIG HAIR IN ROSCOE VILLAGE. Don’t be tempted by the twelve dollar haircut! Heed my words! I’d show you a picture, and maybe that would convince you more than my words could, but NO! I cannot in good conscience unleash it onto the unsuspecting public. This hair must be stopped! Those of you who know me know that I hate exclamation points! So I must be really serious!

9 Comments so far

  1. lincoln square resident (unregistered) on October 23rd, 2004 @ 11:26 am

    you should sit still and there wouldn’t be a problem. i’ve never had a bad haircut from big hair in 5 years.

  2. Tom (unregistered) on October 24th, 2004 @ 4:28 pm

    ah, yeah, that’s it. i wasn’t sitting still. rrriiightttt… because i AM 4 years old. plus, i think a professional barber would be able to say “don’t move” or “hold still” if that were the problem.

    glad to hear your experiences have been better.

  3. Brianne (unregistered) on October 24th, 2004 @ 9:11 pm

    I love love love Big Hair and was very surprised when I read your post. Big Hair is the only hair place I go back to and consistently like. Everyone in my house goes to Big Hair…including my neighbors. Don’t knock the Big Hair, it is the best place to go to for a haircut and far worth the $12 bucks. Don’t let the one experience ruin it for you. Give it another shot. If you ask for Anne, you will be guaranteed a good cut (she is awesome)

  4. Lauren (unregistered) on October 25th, 2004 @ 8:49 am


    I couldn’t disagree with you more!!!!!

    I live a couple blocks away from Big Hair and go there once a month for a cut and eyebrow wax, and LOVE IT. Deirdre is the GREATEST. WAXER. EVER. She gave me the best haircut of my life when I had my elbow length hair cut up to my shoulder line. I just told her “Make me look like I am not 12” and let her go hog wild.

    Being such a psychotic regular, I also know that they hired a couple of new stylists so that might explain the bad experience. But I’ve never had a bad visit there in my life (and I’ve probably been there for appx 10 – 15 haircuts). However, hair being hair, I can understand your freaking. But I implore you to give them another shot. Really. They Rock.

  5. Tom (unregistered) on October 25th, 2004 @ 3:12 pm

    wow, i didn’t realize big hair had such a loyal cult following fan base. the fact remains – i received a REALLY bad haircut there. you’re probably right, lauren; the guy who cut my hair is probably not one of the females mentioned in these comments. i’m glad you’ve had a plethora of good experiences there, but i’m not going back anytime soon. sort of because i’ll only let a business screw me over once, but mostly because i’m stubborn. and really, you may implore or beg me to reconsider, but you really shouldn’t let it bother you.

  6. Tom (unregistered) on October 25th, 2004 @ 3:14 pm

    oops. the comments ate my code. “cult following” was supposed to be stricken out as joke in the above post. as a joke. a joke.

  7. Fo (unregistered) on April 25th, 2005 @ 3:46 pm

    The hairdresser and bi hair told me that if ou cross your legs while oin the char, your shoulders arent at the smae level and that will mess everything up. I love bigf hair, onluy been there once, but I’m def going back

  8. Lisa (unregistered) on June 27th, 2005 @ 12:37 am

    Thanks for the post. I am walking around with shorn hair, and believe me it is a very fucked up feeling. What was supposed to be a cute, sleek, sexy haircut, left me looking like I had gone into the hair shop at a nursing home to get my doo. I have thick hair, and she textured my hair the wrong way, thus the pooofy looking old lady bob. I had to go to another hair shop where everyone looked at me strangely as I walked in.

    I am devestated, but thank God it’s summer! I can at least stretch it back into a tiny pony tail until September when It should finally be grown back.

    How embarrassing, and I had to show up at work.

    Anyways, it is just messed up.

    Take care,



  9. Lisa (unregistered) on June 27th, 2005 @ 12:39 am


    This just happened Thursday night, I had to get it recut on Saturday morning, so I am still feeling a bit freaked out over the whole deal.

    My hair used to be down mid-back, and it is now 2 inches above my shoulder…..

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