This Is an Outrage.

I am outraged.

I came to the voting booth fully prepared. My camera was in my pocket to document any indiscretions. My cellphone was in the other pocket to report any violations. Knives were concealed everywhere so I could fight my way in if necessary. I brought thirty-seven pieces of identification, utility bills, paychecks, and letters to a long lost aunt.

There was no line. There were no detractors. There was no infraction of the law. There weren’t even any hanging chads. The machine took my ballot, told me I had voted correctly, and that was it.

I am beside myself with indignation. Here I expected a fight, I expected to be denied my rights as a voter, and instead I got an election. A fair, uneventful election.

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