Concert Faux Pas #47 – Being a psycho fan boy

Apparently all the freaks are out and they are all drawn to some ginourmous freak magnet that surrounds me. Brianne and I went to see Pinback at the Metro last night and encountered a rare breed of idiot: the psycho fan boy who rocks out at shows where it is wildly inappropriate to do so. Now, I have no problem with people getting excited and pumped at a show. That’s cool. Whatever. But these guys were insane.

Let’s start off with psycho fan boy #1. This guy was a bit in front of us and to the right, and was freaking out and screaming WHILE THE BAND WAS SETTING UP. Every time one of the band members looked out into the audience even remotely close to where he was standing, he would raise his hand and wave. Not like “Whoooo! I love you guys! Over HERE! LOOK AT ME!!!!”, but like you see someone you know down the street and casually wave. Weird.

About 4 songs into the set, psycho fan boy #2 comes up just behind him. This guy is all by himself, but quickly takes up the space of 6 people. He is rocking out and is ALL KINDS of full of the music. It is so hard to describe what he was doing because it was so absolutely and totally bizarre. It looked like a mixture of “The Elaine”, jazz hands, gospel choir, a religious exorcism, and Christina Aguilera / Mary J Blige type hand gestures; all coming out of this squirrelly guy that looked like he would be much more comfortable at a Northwestern game. He then takes out his phone and flails around while letting the person on the other end of the line listen to the show. It made me wonder if this was the agreement. Like his friend was to embarrassed to be seen at the show with him, so he listens via cell phone.

By this point, psycho fan boy #1 has noticed the far superior and neurotic psycho fan boy #2 behind him. After one of the songs, they court each other with a series of back slaps and “fuck yeahs”. Brianne and I immediately feel the need to explode at the staggering humor we are witnessing. I don’t know what they said, so I will postulate….

Psycho Fan Boy #1: “Fuck yeah!”
Psycho Fan Boy #2: “Fuck yeah, fuck yeah!”
Psycho Fan Boy #1: “Dude”
Psycho Fan Boy #2: “Bro”
Psycho Fan Boy #1: “We are SO bff”
Psycho Fan Boy #2: “I so want to have 50 million of your babies”
Psycho Fan Boy #1: “Let’s do the wave!”
Psycho Fan Boy #2: “Fuck yeah!”
Psycho Fan Boy #1: “Fuck yeah, fuck yeah!”

And then the real fun started. During one of the songs, psycho fan boy started doing the above the hand clap. Psycho Fan Boy #1 turned around and said “fuck yeah!” (are you surprised?) and started doing the clap too. But they were about a half a second off so it sounded more like CLAP-CLap. At the end of the song, psycho fan boy #1 held his hand out for a behind the back hi-five, but was denied. Psycho Fan Boy #2 was too busy flailing all over the place.

I expected them to both run in the back and paint their faces a la Monday Night Football and headbutt each other all night long.

But luckily, psycho fan boy #2 went to the bar a couple songs later. The entire crowd around him let out a collective sigh, and quickly squished together to fill the gap he had left – effectively barring him from returning and ruining their mellow show.

4 Comments so far

  1. barb (unregistered) on November 8th, 2004 @ 3:44 pm

    this is exactly why i’ve stopped going to Metro. either that or i’m just old.

  2. Tom (unregistered) on November 8th, 2004 @ 5:27 pm

    he didn’t do an ashlee simpson jig in there somewhere?

  3. tankboy (unregistered) on November 8th, 2004 @ 5:43 pm

    how exactly do frat boys hear about pinback in the first place. WHO AMONGST THE INDIE NATION IS LEAKING THIS INFORMATION?!

  4. Jen (unregistered) on November 9th, 2004 @ 11:36 am

    I was at that same show, and was also inflicted with the wrath of psycho fan boys #1 and #2. It appears that these two go to many shows that I do, and I was wondering the same thing–how in the hell do people like this hear of bands like Pinback? First, Modest Mouse went to the masses, then Death Cab for Cutie, what next?

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