From: Taco Bill, Chief of Hot Sauce
To: All Taco Bell employees
Subject: We are totally AWESOME!

Congratulations! I knew we could acheive this feat! We set out to build a retail location that had the most unintuitive and unsafe layout for motor vehicles in the history of time, and we really surpassed this goal with store #2563830459575906 on Clybourn in Chicago. Well done, pats on the back all around!

I would like to thank the architect who decided it was a great idea to loop the drive-thru entrance around the front of the store so close to the pedestrian exit, almost guaranteeing that an incoming car would hit any patrons exiting the establishment. I have tested it myself, and it works like gangbusters! They can’t see a damn thing around the corner. It is not easy to create such a gaping blind spot, but you did it.

Also, I would like to thank the land scouter for finding a location so close to a Metra overpass. Drivers exiting the store left onto Wrightwood are almost certain to hit any westbound cars. The overpass blocks their view! Brilliant!

In closing, I haven’t been this proud since we came up with the gordita. 3 cent raises for everyone!