This is not a pizza competition

What do you think qualifies as great pizza? The taste? The texture of the crust? The savoriness of the toppings? The dough tossing ability?


The what?

I was watching “Food Network Challenge: Pizza Battle” on Sunday night, and was absolutely appalled. I love me a good food challenge, especially when it comes to pizza. We all know that the finest pizza in the whole entire universe is made right here in Chicago. So, I settled in to my seat and prepared to watch the local boys blow past their contenders from New York, Ohio (Ohio?), The South, and California.

Food Network had it out for Chicago from the start. Each of the competitors had 20 minutes to cook their pizza, which is not nearly enough time to bake a good deep-dish offering. The Chicago contender had to modify his recipe from deep-dish to some weird thin crust in a deep dish hybrid.

Then came the dough acrobatics.

Each of the teams was made up of one chef and one dough tosser. Of course! Because having the ability to sling dough totally has a direct relation to the taste of your pizza. While the acrobatics were entertaining, I don’t really see WTF dough tossing has to do with yumminess.

In the end, Team California won with their foofy-ass California style mushroom pizza. Have you ever had California pizza? California Pizza Kitchen? That is an oxymoron, like tasty shit.

I guess that is what happens when half (HALF!!!) of your points come from dough acrobatics, and you just so happen to have the reigning world champ of dough tossing on your team.

8 Comments so far

  1. Dave! (unregistered) on July 12th, 2005 @ 11:07 am

    Yeah, what a joke. I’ll put Pequod’s up against any California “Pizza” any day of the week…

    I remember when I was living in CA, and some friends said, “Hey, you’re from Chicago, let’s go get some Chicago style pizza! There’s this great place in Berekely.” Ha! I could barely even choke down the Uno out there…

    I can see how someone (a lightweight) might be partial to a NY slice… but California?!

    I’ve got it out for them now… wait ’til the “Arugula, Baby Greens and Water Cress Salad Competition.” My wasabi infused, ginger, cilantro and lemon grass dressing is going to kick their Golden State butts.

  2. SAP (unregistered) on July 12th, 2005 @ 11:50 am

    And the sad part is, there are actually poor uncivilized people who actually believe that California pizza is a superior product compared to the blessed Chicago deep-dish pizza.

    They probably put ketchup on their hot dogs, too.

  3. SC (unregistered) on July 12th, 2005 @ 3:53 pm

    I actually fell asleep watching this b/c I knew we wouldn’t win. No one really appreciates a Chicago style pizza (they’re jealous really). Having moved away, it is the one thing I REFUSE to eat here in the SW. There’s an Uno’s here, but I know better.

  4. Yano (unregistered) on July 12th, 2005 @ 9:55 pm

    You know, in California there’s a restaurant chain called ‘BJ’s Chicago Style Pizza’. Is there a BJ’s here? I don’t think so. All these Cali people going there thinking that they’re getting the real deal. Blasphemy!

  5. steven (unregistered) on July 13th, 2005 @ 11:46 am

    As a kid driving thru Phoenix with my parents, we stopped off at some pizza joint. Even at a young age, I knew what real pizza was supposed to taste like and it wasn’t a piece of cardboard with some red sauce on top.

    And I actually like ketchup on my hot dogs. But I grew up in the burbs, so maybe that’s why.

  6. marjorie upton (unregistered) on October 19th, 2005 @ 6:20 am

    Can anyone tell me what problems independent pizzerias face in competing with the big franchisers and what can they do to increase their business and take-outs in their community?

  7. bj's (unregistered) on November 14th, 2005 @ 12:53 pm

    Hi there

  8. led belly (unregistered) on December 2nd, 2005 @ 6:48 pm

    i am originally from chicago, im italian and been to italy i know good pizza and what real italian food is, i have been living in california now for almost 30 years and i have a BJ’s pizza in my area woodland hills ca in san fernando valley, i took my family there let me tell you this place is total SHIT! It masquerades itself as some chicago style eatery I never seen or heard of a godamn BJ’s in Chicago. First of all the beer which they brew there on premises that they boast so highly of taste like Medicine! it sucked so bad i spit it out, The pizza sauce straight out of a jar tasted like ketchup. Whoever own this dump should be crucified for trying to pass this california crap off as chicago style pizza!

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