“Ultimate Blunders”
In light of the recent spate of vomiting throughout the metro area, it seems only fitting to bring to you an opportunity to share your humiliation with the world.
I was recently contacted by the producers of a forthcoming TLC show called
OhmyGod! Embarrassing moments – embarrassing may as well be my middle name! This incident is still fresh in my mind and I’m still red in the face from it.
When I met my girlfriends sister for the first time we all went out to lunch at a really cool cafe that my sister worked at, thought it’d be good to go there as it was a good restaurant and I’d get a discount on the meal. I sat there, on my best behaviour, trying to make a good impression. My girlfriend said her sister was cool but very protective so I had to show that I was a nice guy – reliable, responsible, y’know, that kinda thing. So I order food for everyone, we order champagne, the best food on the menu and we have a great lunch.
When it gets to the end of the meal I call the waitress over to ask for the bill – however, my sister thought it’d be funny to pretend she was an ex-girlfriend, the mother of my ‘children’ that I didn’t have’. She says, ‘Oh it’s you – thought I’d bump into you sometime, why’ve you never paid me any money for the kids upkeep?’. ‘Shut it Stacy’, I said, thinking, this is so not funny, my girlfriend’s sister was just looking at me like I was a piece of dirt – ‘No, listen’, I said, wanting her to know that this was my sister having a joke, ‘This is my sister’, I said, ‘She’s just…’ I didn’t get a chance to say anymore, my girlfriend threw a glass of water over me and shouted ‘You never told me about the child, urgh, your sister, that’s disgusting’, and then HER SISTER shoved me – I fell onto the table, my face landing in the remains of the lobster and cream-cake from the desert all over my crotch. Needless to say, my girlfriend spread the story round school and everyone laughed for ages. I told her it was a joke but it took years for me to clear my name and the cream from my trousers. Awful.
C’mon, can any of you guys top that? I’m just getting over it now, but not quite.
Dude, that’s raw. You’re definitely getting on TV with that one. Filming the “dramatization” should be fun!