Chicago’s third gift to the world …

For the next few days, the Metroblogging sites around the globe will be unveiling seven gifts their cities share with the world – one gift a day for seven days.

For those of us who live in Chicago, we all know that no season is sacred. One day might be seventy degrees, the next thirty–whether this is more likely in January or August is up for debate, but it’s true in either case. I present as my primary piece of evidence Tom Skilling’s weekly forecast. This week, we will be vacillating between end of summer humidity and snow.

And thus I present Chicago’s third gift to the world: a terrible hairdo year-round. In humidity, sleet, heat, rain, snow, or sun, there are nevery any guarantees that your designer coif will look great. In fact, the only guarantee you’ve got, more or less, is that it will be horrible. Wind-blown, frizzy, flat, or fried–the fashion mags don’t give their secrets to sexy hair based on Chicago weather and it’s for a reason. If you’ve got great hair, don’t move here. If you don’t, then by all means–it couldn’t look any worse than the rest of ours.

Tags: Metblogs7Gifts

10 Comments so far

  1. HDB (unregistered) on November 29th, 2006 @ 1:09 am

    Bad hair? Are you kidding?! Skyscrapers, The Prarie School, Tootsie Rolls, House music (and that’s just scratching the surface)…and you write about bad hair days year-round. That’s just b.s. and in no way unique to this city.

  2. erinoia (unregistered) on November 29th, 2006 @ 7:45 am

    come now. here in chicago we take a little bit more of a whimsical approach to things. lots of cities have skyscrapers–how is that unique to chicago? i think you’ve missed the finer point here–which is, of course, a little dig at chicago’s fucked-up weather. it’s undeniable that people know us for that.

    here’s another one, then: the vagina building. even though it supposedly was not designed to be anti-phallic, that’s what everyone thinks it is and calls it that.

  3. Fuzzy (unregistered) on November 29th, 2006 @ 8:57 am

    If we made the whole list “actually incredibly awesome things Chicago has given the world” we’d need way more than 7. So please do keep coming back to see what other infuriating frivolous things we’re listing as our gifts.

  4. jack (unregistered) on November 29th, 2006 @ 9:08 am

    So the point of this list is to come up with the 7 stupidest things you can think of about chicago? I thought the street grid was dumb, but now I see it was just part of the plan.

    As for skyscrapers, chicago actually did invent the skyscraper so it is actually a valid gift unlike the street grid and this dumbass entry. If you are going to continue with these foolish gifts at least add in the gift of public officials making the city the laughing stock of the country. On the heels of such outstanding examples as being the first city to screw up a smoking ban, fois gras bans and other things we now have asked a movie company to not advertise a christmas movie at a christmas festival because it might be offensive!?! way to go chicago.

  5. erin (unregistered) on November 29th, 2006 @ 9:20 am

    Let’s think about some of what you’ve said here, Jack. Chicago, as a city, did not invent skyscrapers–no city can “invent” anything. A person did, based on the steel skeleton structure, which was used elsewhere [Manhattan] before it was used in Chicago–but yes, what we would consider to be the first modern skyscrapers were built here.

    Moving on: nobody said anything about making Chicago look stupid. You’re the only one who has spoken negatively about it so far. And if you think that a post on Metroblogging is going to make Chicago “the laughing stock of the country,” then you have placed far too much faith in the internet, and our humble–and silly! get over it!–list.

  6. Dave! (unregistered) on November 29th, 2006 @ 9:38 am

    Weak. Super weak. More than weak: lame.

    How are skyscrapers unique to Chicago??! My god… Um, maybe because skyscrapers were *invented* here??! I’m a *transplant* to the city and even I know that!

    Yeah, Fuzzy, if you made the list “actually incredibly awesome things Chicago has given the world” you might need more than seven… it would be tough to choose just 7… but “a terrible hairdo year-round” 1) that’s not a gift; 2) un-funny is not equal to “whimsical”; 3) how did *Chicago* give that to anyone?

    The feature is *called* “Chicago’s Gifts to the World” not “Let’s make fun of Chicago’s foibles.”


  7. jack (unregistered) on November 29th, 2006 @ 11:16 am

    “The first skyscraper was the ten-story Home Insurance Building in Chicago, built in 1884-1885.”

    I said public officials make chicago look foolish not metroblogging. Sorry I made the apparently incorrect assumption that a feature titled 7 gifts to the world would involve thinking of actual relevant things chicago has done. carry on with your discussion of hair.

  8. HDB (unregistered) on November 29th, 2006 @ 12:10 pm

    “People know us” for bad weather? Your statement is deniable, Erinoia. Travel the world and people know us for Al Capone and Michael Jordan. Those are the two things that are ALWAYS mentioned by residents of other countries when they find out you’re from Chicago. NEVER have I heard “Ah, Chicago. You have year-round bad hair days because of your weird weather”. Plus, I’m sure most of us can name cities with more weird/worse weather. I’ll have to agree with Dave!: “unfunny” is not equal to “whimsical”.

  9. DIVEBARWIFE (unregistered) on November 29th, 2006 @ 3:15 pm

    erinioa – as a former resident of what I’ve heard referred to as “little Chicago” (also know as Des Moines, IA) – I cracked up when I saw this gift – I do think it’s pretty funny. Anybody can go to Wikipedia, see what Chicago is famous for a write on that…this one was cute.

  10. Tipper (unregistered) on November 29th, 2006 @ 7:24 pm

    Er, it’s the WINDY city. Of course people know you for bad weather! (Though now I think we might know you for Certain Citizens Having Sticks Up Their Rears Yet Others Appearing to Have a Sense of Humor.)

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