Maybe It Was A Job Offer

It’s been a few weeks since I posted anything here because I’ve been scrambling to find a new job. Those recent statistics regarding the jobless rate? Yeah, that was my bad. Sorry.

I’m temping now, which is fine. Nothing exciting, but I do have a new commute. I’ve learned in the last twelve years that every bus and train route is its own unique adventure, and even that adventure has variations based on what time you begin your trip. I’d like to share with you a conversation I had today on my new homeward route. It took place at about 5:45 PM, on the corner of Irving Park and Sheridan while waiting for the Irving Park bus…


ME (taking off my headphones): Yeah?

DUDE: You going home?

ME: No. (It’s true. I was going to Starbucks.)

DUDE: I was wondering if you could do me a favor.

ME: Um, what’s that?

DUDE: I have to go take this breathalyzer test–

ME: Oh-ho! No. Nuh uh. I can’t help you with that.

DUDE: Okay.

(About thirty seconds pass. I should point out here that Mr. Dude looks vaguely like me. Very vaguely. Similar build, similar complexion. But that’s about it.)

DUDE: Hey.

ME (again removing my headphones): Uh, yeah?

DUDE: I know that sounded like a weird question, but if I could just find someone who looks kinda like me–

ME: Yeah, I’m not up for that. Sorry.

Yay! That never happened on my old commute. It’s a brave new world out there.

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